Rules of Attraction
by Keiran
Summary: There are the chick flicks. And then there is reality, which usually comes down to communication issues. A High School AU, oneshot, 1x2.


Author: Keiran  
Title: The Rules of Attraction 1/1  
Rating: PG  
Genre: Romance, High School AU  
Pairings: 1+2, R+ various

Warnings: slightly RFOish. Don't you worry, I'm nice. grins

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. The following is strictly for entertainment purposes.  
Archive: Gundam Wing Diaries. For the record, I have an "Ask and you shall receive" policy.

Notes: B-day drabble for Theotherdigit.

Thanks to the Amazing Shenlong Deb, for betaing!

xxx.XXX.xxx

There are the chick-flick rules of attraction. The popular and handsome guy meets the brainy and cute girl (usually his junior, by a year or so), and they fall in love, with a few more or less embarrassing moments thrown in-between.

And then there is reality.

"Oh, man, this sucks. Is there a cardinal rule that says cafeteria food has to be abominable?" Heero, having had a lot of practice at this kind of conversation, said nothing. "I mean, it even looks sort of okay, if you tilt your head and squint. But the taste! Seriously, what do they pay these people for? Fetching plastic from the freezer?"

"Mhm."

"Because I swear these colours cannot possibly be natural."

"Heero!" Both men looked up from their, for a lack of better word, food. A pretty blonde was beaming at them. Or rather at Heero, whose expression stated clearly that he is desperately trying to match the face with a name.

Eventually it clicked. "You're Relena," he said. Duo rolled his eyes.

"Way to go, genius. Don't mind the loser, Relena. He's trouble remembering people he sees off-screen. Tell him to name everyone he ever met online, and he'll list five email addies, websites and their favourite avatars, but show him a real person and he's confused like a newborn mouse."

"I remember you."

"We met in preschool."

As the conversation moved away from the identifying issues, the blonde girl deflated visibly, and started pouting. Eventually she sat down with her cappuccino and scowled.

"This stinks," she said after several minutes of following the spirited dialogue. Both boys turned their heads in her direction.

"Sorry?"

"You." She pointed at Heero. "You were tutoring me last year. In mathematics." Heero said nothing, in place of the obligatory incredulous "it was you?" But Relena wasn't quite finished yet. "I made an effort, I really did. I got rid of the glasses. I learned how to put on make up. And bloody hell – every single guy I find is totally gay for his best friend."

There was no adequate way to describe the expression Heero and Duo assumed. Hard-pressed, one would say something along the lines of "imagine extremely surprised beetroots, with hair."

"I mean, I started to suspect something when I found Mr Treize making out with my brother, when he was supposed to be tutoring him. He was just a minor crush of mine, but still. There was this blond asshole at the summer camp with his little pet. The psychopathic geek and his red-headed idiot. Then that guy from my biology classes, he was silent, but really hot. And nice. Mostly to his absolutely adorable blond-haired-blue-eyed friend." She twitched her fingers around the last word. "And now you. I mean, no offence," she added quickly, turning to Duo, "I'm sure you are a great guy, and I love your hair, by the way, but is it too much to ask for a nice straight boy? I am not getting desperate yet, at least I think I'm not. I'm just thinking about the chances the human race has! I'm all for free love, but hello, species survival?"

Duo managed to close his mouth. He had to use both of his hands and the table for support.

"Uh. Relena. Heero is not gay." Relena shot him the "yeah, riiiight" look. "No, I'm serious! I've known him since forever, we've been together pretty much for all vacations, holidays, in school, after school, I think I would have… noticed."

"Way to go, Edison," the blonde muttered. "You've just discovered the light bulb."

"Heero, you're not gay," Duo said, with a touch of desperation in his voice. Heero fidgeted and muttered something inaudible.

"Well…"

Very, very slowly, likely without a command from up above, one of Duo's hands started inching towards his friend's clenched fist.

Relena stood up dramatically. "Boys and their communication skills." Picking up her cappuccino, she left. The two at the table barely noticed, too busy working out their communication issues.

xxx

Outside the cafeteria, Relena paused to finish her coffee.

"How did it go?"

"They fell for it. Hook, line and sinker," she replied casually, giving the newcomer a kiss.

"About bloody time," he snorted, stealing her cup.

"I will never understand how a straight guy like you got to be the gay cupid, Wufei," Relena said, shaking her head.

Wufei smirked and kissed her.

**END.**


End file.
